If only…

The title might give you a hint or clue that I am either going to tell you a tale of what things could have been if only… Or you might think it is some fictional tale about people saying “If only…” Or even a description on the phrase “If only…” Like one of that preaching stuff, right.

Well, it is none and all at the same time. Another clichéd phrase but I will take the liberty of using it. We all at one time or other have used this phrase, haven’t we? Yet hearing this from someone else always irritate us. We feel that the other person is making excuses and as we all know.. Excuses are a sign of a weakling and a failure,isn’t so? Back to what I was saying; we have used this phrase at one time or other. It is more gracious to accept this than deny.

Then we are all failures. Let me tell you some of my if only.

If only I had given my math exam well in 10th board I would have got above 90 marks. (Math was my favorite subject but I got lowest in 10th among all my subjects).

If only I had studied well for my JEE I would have got a better rank and a better college.

If only I wasn’t so lazy.

If only I knew what I want in life.

If only I time my thoughts better so that they get out when useful and not later.

and so on…

People have all kind of if only. From trivial ones like if only I had wore that dress for the party to if only I had given that drug to the patient. From if only I had ordered that instead of what I am eating right now to if only I had proposed to her. Their is always a certain gloominess around the if onlies. I do not know whether it is their inherent trait or they just sound so. But somehow I can distinguish between the good if only and the bad one.

I know you might be a bit perplexed about this. Well, that is why I am writing. To perplex you and attract you towards myself by this. On the topic now I believe that when someone say an if only their is a presence of hope or despair in it. In other words, a person saying an if only is on a downward slope or an upward curve could be found out by the way they say it.

If we hear- “ If only I had done that instead this.’ Then their is hope, the guy knows his mistake and will not make this mistake again or improve upon this. Hope is a prominent ingredient in this sentence. If we hear-“ If only it had happened that way instead this.” This is a downward slope towards unhappiness. When a man blames his past on someone else or something else then to succeed for him becomes a difficult task as he can not overcome this. We can quite easily forgive our mistakes than others.

I do not know how to end this post. I have suddenly gone blank. The sentence I just wrote (I bolded it) has got me into thinking. Its true and it is close to hypocrisy, is it not? I will not call it a straight hypocrisy as hypocrisy has got a much darker meaning and should always be used in circumstances of extremity. But nevertheless lets talk about this in some other post. For now, I think this is enough.