Just...

I truly don't know why or what i am going to write. I mean sure I know how I feel-'terrible' but how to express the feeling without explaining the reason is the problem. I wish that I could do something about it but this is the one of the few times that I do not have control over how things are going to turn out.

I wish someone could tell me where should I go to find the solution. I do not know how much I can sustain this condition. See the problem is that I am a man of action. I play on my instinct and they have never failed me as of now so my faith in them is huge. And now all I am doing is waiting for someone else to take a decision. This 'someone' needs time to take the decision which I totally understand but my instinct is shrieking like a werewolf that wait is a waste as the result is already leaked. It knows that the result will be negative; the worst part is that my instinct says that it is for the good of both the parties and my conscience agrees with it.

Free-will is what make us take decision, isn't it? I am not taking any action because if I take the decision then the other person's free-will is lost. But if I do not take decision thinking so then my free-will is lost. I do not know what to do- confused as I am. May be I should trust my instinct and conscience but my conscience loves me and is biased towards me.

I am sorry; I guess I forgot to tell you that my conscience lives outside me. Something like in the fairy tales where the life of the evil demon lives in the parrot. Nevertheless, one thing is sure that pain is what is written in my future for sometime now. If I wait and the result comes out as my instinct predicts then I will be broken (well, almost broken; I am pretty tough emotionally). Again, waiting two months for a decision is already killing me. The decision, if is taken by me then it will give pain to both of us.

Everything I have written is quite incoherent I know but bear with me as I am not in my complete senses- without booze- and my emotions are practically on a roller coaster ride. Love, Hate, Pain, Sadness, Thrill, Joy (no, not joy), suffering all are coming and going. I never thought that I will be in such a condition when this incident really arises but then when is life predictable. I have always maintained that I like this about life and I will still say that it is good that life provides us with so many twists and turns.

My first Editorial.

Renaissance or as it means in French- 'Rebirth'- used to bring to my mind history and my mind wandered off to Europe of 15^th century. Now it brings the thought of IIT Roorkee, my campus, my hostel and my friends. This has been the effect or I should say euphoria of RENAISSANCE. This magazine has seen more years here than us who have been given the responsibility to help it grow from a small plant into a huge tree of wisdom and shelter. And we hope that our efforts give it the necessary nutrients to not only outlast our stay here but in fact reach the pinnacle of survival i.e. immortality.

            You might have heard of the bird ‘Phoenix’. It is a mythical creature which dies with flames coming out of its body and is reborn from the ashes. We would like you to remember that bird whenever you see the logo of RENAISSANCE. Also we would like you to remember our magazine whenever you hear about this majestic creature- the biggest example of renaissance.

            Every time Renaissance is published it undergoes a metamorphosis, flavoured according to the new team but one thing that will and can never change is its inner spirit. The spirit which is the source of inspiration for us and gives us a desire to seek new horizons and conquer new skies. To this spirit we dedicate our tagline-“The Flight of Desire”.

             We would like to applaud the efforts of all the writers who have contributed in the moulding of this magazine. Talent of the new batch has given us both a great pleasure and a great pain. Pleasure to see that RENAISSANCE will go in safe hands in the future and pain to remove the good articles which deserved a space here. Nevertheless, we hope that the readers cherish this effort on our part.

             In the end I would like to make a small request to our readers. Please do read the first article “The angst of the ‘Ance’” by our senior S. Karthik. It is about a small mistake that we all have been making and the magazine suffering.

[ The angst of the 'Ance' can be read on the blog  http://renisionunlimited.blogspot.com/]